The Gift of Borrowed Time

I let yesterday pass without comment, just like the 9,131 days that preceded it since 9 Dec 1983. On that memorable date 25 years ago yesterday, I was at the controls of a KC-135A air refueling tanker and was involved in a human error induced mid-air collision with an E-3 AWACs with a call sign of Sentry 99. Without going into grisly detail - miscommunication, poor risk management, oversized egos and an inexperienced 2nd Lieutenant with less than 500 hours flying time (that would be me) combined into a sequence of events that put two very large, fast moving aircraft at the same exact coordinates of time and space. It was a severe collision that ripped large pieces off of both aircraft. It is no exaggeration to state that it was an event no one should have survived. Yet we all did. For some unknown – and perhaps unknowable – reason, I was spared from an event that should have taken my life.

From my perspective, I have lived on borrowed time since that moment.

Only from this side of the last 25 years can I gauge the magnitude of this gift. Sons that would never have been born, achievements that would have never been realized, love and life that would have never been experienced – all turned on that 11 seconds of metal on metal over the skies of the Persian Gulf.

In 1898, The English Dialect Dictionary defined the phrase borrowed time this way. "A man who lives on borrowed time lives on trespass-ground." To me this means that those of us whose time on earth has been extended through no fault of our own, need to earn our keep.

I have had one or two other near death experiences since then, but none quite so spectacular. My quest since that fateful day has been to discover and fulfill the reason for this gift and to “pay my way forward.” I’m not sure what this experience might mean to others, but I do see a difference between those who see their time on earth as a right of birth vs. a gift. I have no such burden of expectation that life owes me anything. For me, it will always be the other way around and for that clarity and every future moment, I am grateful.